Wish i'm back in my room, where i would watch 3 movies back to back in the dark till it's dawn. I'd be able to pick the emotions to be found in me, and not like what I'm experiencing currently.
This morning I woke up to find my brothers, and my parents, all around. It's been a long while, to really have this. I have dreamed of this before, oh yes, don't you dare tell me otherwise. Just that it's no longer a dream.
One of the happiest days.
Most of the time I'm with my parents, just doing day to day stuffs. I can never tell them how much I love them, and perhaps being this dependent isn't the way to show it, but I love it this way. People say it's unhealthy to be like this, because life's a cycle, you need to get your own family as your parents won't live as long as you.
And the days with buddies from high school. Some of them were fine and some of them not. I would mostly be joking around like I always do, and this is pretty essential for these meetups. More importantly I'm glad I can still do that. I've been an Asian nerd for two years mind you. To see people change, in a good way, I feel kinda left out of the wonderful-life train. When people are left out of such amazing things in life, I guess it's normal to be unhappy sometimes. Sometimes I am left out, sometimes my own train moves too fast. Or is it that everyone is walking a man's pace while I'm taking a ride on a stupid donkey, which is sometimes fast and slow at times, but you have no first hand experience in walking and you are bumped up and down and donkeys are stupid.
I'm like a little bitch. Glad and shit and okay and depressed and uncertain and sproink. Whatever it is, I kind of just belong here. But there's still something that tells me belonging here is not enough.
"You made the leap. You'll reach the bottom of the hill no matter what. You may have bruises and everything but yeah, you made the leap."
Quoted from myself when talking to someone. This is a fucking metaphor.
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