4/23-4/27

I was reluctant. to leave.
It was something that I didn't want to go, we were ordered to go.
BTN at Kem Bina Negara Meru.
I packed my stuffs, bought some that I might need, and a bottle of 100plus.
Went by bus, reached after sleeping on the bus for a while. The kem looked okay. We gathered in the hall straight away. Then briefing after briefing. And the first talk. We had to wave the nation's flag while singing Satu Malaysia. The song was easy.

First day ended and slept right away, though some of them were kind of noisy, but not really compared to other dorms. There were more than 10 ppl in my dorm, 4 chinese.
There will be sirens all around to wake people up and ask people to gather.

Second day, we had a little of perbarisan, which was really a little. We had that every morning.
Then 3 talks on that day. That makes the total to 4 talks. The first 3 were boring, really boring, even if I had enough sleep I still fell asleep. People were taking pages by pages of notes. I had two lines. xD
The final one was great, given by Dr xxxxx (don't remember the name actually). He studied in Northern Illinois University and had been in the States for 9 years. The whole talk was just about life in the United States. Very particular. Details like wearing glove in winter, deposit, meals, license and everything. We didn't have to try, we just stayed awake. Then we had the little recreation. Jogging and stretching on the second day. At night we were divided into our groups. My group, group 7 had 12 people, with 2 non muslims. Me and Pravin. Pravin wore the Ibrahim T-shirt the next day, and then only I knew he was my brother's schoolmate. Same batch. LOL. He didn't really know my brother, but when I mentioned some other names from the batch, then only he knew.

When the muslims went for their jemaah at the surau, we had nothing to do. Just reflection and resting time. Not bad.

Third day, I think no one woke me up in the morning. I woke up at 7 and bathe and got ready in 5 minutes. I was a little pissed. Selfishness overload. There were 4 chinese. Muslims woke up earlier for their jemaah. I woke up only when they came back and made some noise. Then we had our PKPK. I forgot what that means, but basically discussion lor.
There were introductions, discussion, games and more. Not bad. Discussions really got me thinking. Senamrobik on that day.
At night was a forum. Not really good. I don't like how students like us talk about things as if they are on top of the world. Talking about democracy in our country is so and so. Yes, you can say what you like. Be someone before you talk.

Fourth day was the same. PKPK all day. But my handsome faci wasn't there. We combined with Group 1, Abang Jimmy's group, another handsome faci. There was a session. Then afternoon we had the TicTacToe game. Not bad.
Then we had kembara. Just surrounded the kem through the not so thick jungle. There were trees blocking the way where we had to climb over or go under. Not bad.
At night there was our performance of patriotic songs. My group got Jalur Gemilang. Easy and we made it okay. We didn't win, but who cares.
Then there it comes. The GAME. The game which saw some people being very good at it, some ignorant, like me, and some almost fought with the faci. I wasn't too happy to see that. To see how scholars act like gangsters and that might fail the whole batch of us at the camp.
After that, emotions were stirred, some of us were really mad, and the facis were really upset too. The head faci shed tears, saying how disappointed he was and how happy he was to see those of us who managed to control. I was ignorant all the time.
We sang "Warisan" together. Hand in hand. I don't know what to feel at that time. I really need time to think. I owe myself too much time. What I was sure, there were some members that acted like shit.
We left the hall around half past midnight.

The last day we had our test, which is fucking easy. I'm glad I didn't take notes, either during talks or during PKPK. And our penyelaras finally came, after a few days away. He was busy he said. I was the second one to leave the hall. xD
Then it was the closing ceremony, where our penyelaras first spoke to us. He graduated with a degree in Social Science, with 3 credits in SPM. He is young, but the way he speak, is different.
He talked about how he wished Malaysia can someday become like HongKong, for he himself knew, Malaysia is not doing well. He admitted that, not like some other who claimed everything is at its best. And he talked about Lynas, in a way that got me impressed and started thinking. I was kind of unhappy his speech dragged on until 1pm, but he was a nice person.

With that, I threw my 100 plus bottle, who had been with me throughout the whole camp.

And so it ended. We went back to hostel after lunch. I sent Pravin to the bus station to go back to SP. And I thought I had to stay in Cemara for a few days more.
Joseph messaged me, saying that we have 5 days holidays. zzzzzz. I actually called Azlin to ask when should we go to school the day before, she said monday. The next day, she told someone else wednesday. Good job.
So I went back, with my junior, TunSheng, who got into Uni of Washington and attended BTN with us.
I wouldn't want to talk about the journey home. It's not very pleasant.


The session that I mentioned. The one with Abang Jimmy. He said we were all given 1 cent, 5 cents, 10 cents, and 20 cents. To allocate these to 4 choices: Diri dan Keluarga, Negara, Agama and Bangsa. So we all made our choices.
Mine was Bangsa, Diri, Negara, Agama, going from highest to lowest. Surprisingly, I was the only one who rated Bangsa highest. 16 chose Agama, 8 chose themselves.
We were then asked to discuss and present our ideas. I had no one to discuss with, so Jimmy asked me to discuss with him. It was not bad. Really.
And when we presented, he disputed those who rated Agama first, questioning how many of them are going to the States just because of Agama.
And then he asked me to present. I said: "We are now students, going overseas. We are like a diplomat, what we do reflects on our nation. We walk to school, we run to school, that's what they think Malaysians do. And of course, it's the people's money who paid for my fees."
Jimmy said that was good. And that the students who thought they are studying because of religion, they are not there to preach.

The one girl in my group. There was this girl, whom I caught looking at me at times. I don't know why would she want to look at me though. And there were occasions that she came and sat right beside me and talked to me. Weird, because I don't know any of them. Until one night, after our supper, she left the whole group of girls, and walked back to the room with me, alone. That is total crap.

I had personal interactions with all the trainers. Pak Jaafar, Pak Rani, Pak Zakaria, Kak Aisyah. Maybe it was because I had no friends with me. I enjoyed talking to the elderly -,-   It was not bad actually.
And also one-to-one conversations with the speakers, all of them. I don't know why, maybe because I was always early to the hall, I get to talk to them, including the PhD from Northern Illinois. I feel like a boss. xD

And yes, I need thinking time.
So, this BTN wasn't really mind-changing or brain-washing, but thought-inducing.