Things are not getting worse but it hasn't been that much better.

New York trip was pretty pleasant, had a ton of good food. There were times when things got ugly, like how I wanted to get a towel when they wanted to go back so badly, like how I tried not to make decisions as it was their first time in New York and I've been there before, or when Uber didn't work, or when the girl insisted on going to a bakery far away just to get some pastry.

I'm super negative these days. Came back from New York on Tuesday, and there was one old lady from Michigan trying to find her bus. So I took her luggage, walked her for around 15 minutes to find her bus. Even though I should feel really happy or something when she thanked me, I didn't. Or maybe that's what people mean when they say you shouldn't expect anything when you help people, so yeah. I went home and attended class right after. Class was the same, but it was a crazy week. A group assignment was due on Wednesday, an exam for a class I never attend on Wednesday, a lab report due on Friday and another exam on Friday.

Group assignment, good thing wasn't too much. Exam on Wednesday was a disaster, not that I didn't work hard enough, but most people thought it was impossible. I assumed it's the professor trying to punish us for not going to class ( IINM I heard him saying there were only 4 students in one class). Lab report was okay, and I went to school at 5am on Friday to practice the design software. Surprise surprise, the buildings are locked. So I called the security, they told me it's open at 7, so I left to the library and read the slides and everything, then went to practice at 7. What happened in the end? I didn't even get 50% out of the exam. FML. The one class I like, the one class I try so hard, the one class I'm confident in, I fucking failed. It doesn't mean I fail the class or anything, but it does make me feel really bad about everything even more. Why do I even try? lol. I'll probably still try, but I'm not okay.

Whatever, 2 other classes suck, I suck, I just want all of these shit to end. I know I haven't been working hard at all, guess I'm still waiting for that one WAKE UP CALL. I heard D is also a pass, which is 60%, hopefully I can get D's for some of those classes. I don't even know anymore. Like how high school didn't mean shit now, one day college won't mean shit. So yeah go ahead and get all the D's.

Winter winter. Where to go for this winter break, apparently most people have no fucking idea, but I'm not feeling pressured to do anything. We're gonna be fine. See how things go. Not optimistic, but I'm good.