I suck (2)

What I told Chaisee were damn right.
I thought I was very good.
I thought 13 A's is good.
I thought being a president, a secretary and the assistant head prefect were enough.
I thought I was active in school.
I thought I was going to have what I wanted.
I thought I would have to think of ways to reject some scholarship offers.
I think I suck.
Not only everything is not enough for me to go anywhere, now I'm left with nothing, really nothing.
Now, my only hope is JPA. If that comes with the same result again, I think I'm going to Form 6.
Not that I don't like to go, but I do feel reluctant to continue staying at home, and meeting quite the same people.
Chaisee told me about Singapore, well, frankly speaking, I never thought of it before. The problem is, I am a lazy pig. I will die there, I guess, haha.
There's no turning back.
I know I don't look good with this post. Sorry, it's hard to look good with these.
I know it's a do-or-die now.