T minus 2 and a half weeks

Picked up the things I gotta wear in a few weeks time, whatever that means.
Only 2 classes and 2 exams left.

The reason I still haven't agreed to attend the graduation dinner organized by the Malaysian Students Association is because I do not know why I should. For the past years there were less than 15 people who attended, and for this year I only have a few people who I really consider friends. It's not like I treat them like enemies or anything, but we just never got to know each other, and I do not look to do anything about it. If I ever do go and get asked to talk about my college years and graduation, I simply do not know what is appropriate to say.

There's no freaking way I am envious of people who got to know lots of close friends in school, or even boyfriend/girlfriend. As I'm saying this I ask myself, am I? I still don't think so. Or even those people who study so well to get whatever distinction in school. I wish them well and those are really good achievements I admit, but those are not what I need exactly. No I do not know what I need or what I want, but distinctions and all are definitely not it. Or those people who find comfort believing in a sole entity who controls over everyone and everything. There's gotta be a reason for their entity to make me a non-believer, and for that they will agree that their entity has better plans for people like me. I like these people too don't get me wrong.

Some cultures take pride in being different at an individual level, some don't. Whichever way it is, somehow someway people will survive. Why survive even? When you are not fighting for survival, and excellence is what you strive for, that's something that you want, but not what you need. Not the bare necessities. I don't even know where I am going with this. But the greed is always there. Greed can easily be justified by social norms or goals. Well I am, of course, not as noble as I sound. Who cares.